What a nice touch to let that “someone special” know AFTER damage is done and calling 911 is just two seconds too late.

@ earmarkinvitations

Tracy’s tips on how to land a man:

1. Push up Bra.  Push those puppies up because you want to “disgrak” your man.
2. Dye your hair with Kool Aid.  It’s less severe.
3. Take Yoga and palate classes.  They will make you more white and educated.
4. Make sure you always have a lip balm with you.  You want to keep your lips moist.
5. Do not say WHATEVER or WHAT-EVAH.  It’s WHAT-ERROR.
6. If your hair is dirty and itchy, don’t scratch.  You will mess your hair up.  It’s OK if it’s dirty.  Kool Aid will cover it up.

Follow these tips and you will get a man in no time.

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Carol Beer is my career model.  Her customer service skills are superb.  I watched the educational videos of hers again and again, and finally, I think I am confident to say that I have got it.  I will definitely use the skills she taught in the videos at work.  At last, I really have a good shot at the next Employee of the Month Award.  COUGH!

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Here we go again…

Boxing legend Mike Tyson allegedly hit a photographer at Los Angeles International Airport and was booked and released on $20,000 bail on suspicion of misdemeanor battery Wednesday, police said.  Blah blah blah…

So this time he was being very kind.  He didn’t bit off the paparazzi’s ear.  The paparazzi should actually thank Tyson for that.

Here’s the juicy part of the story:

Tyson was convicted of rape in Indiana in 1992 and served three years in prison. He was disqualified from a 1997 heavyweight title fight when he bit off part of Evander Holyfield’s right ear, and in 1999 he pleaded no contest to misdemeanor assault charges in Maryland. The pair recently reconciled on “Oprah.”

In 2003, Tyson filed for Chapter 11 protection in U.S. Bankruptcy Court. He served 24 hours in an Arizona jail in 2007 after pleading guilty to cocaine possession and driving under the influence.

Is there anything awful he has not done yet?  So this guy is STILL a “celebrity” as long as he keeps breaking the law.  Sort of like Paris Hilton is famous by being stupid.  Now I am very upset.  I regretted spending 4 years in college in getting that stupid degree.  What I should have done was put myself in a balloon and fly away.  Then, I could have called 911 from my balloon and screamed for help.

So what is the next bad thing Tyson will do?  Well, someone already did it for him.

Me:  Look at him.  He dances like a snake.  How odd.

Matt:  It’s not too bad.

Me:  All he needs is a snake charmer playing a flute near him within his biting range.

Matt:  You should leave your prejudice at home.

Me:  I never leave home without it.