Me:  You must put, “While She Was out,” in your Netflix queue or even better, watch it instantly online tonight.  It’s one hell of a KISS ASS & feel good movie.

…

Me:  Oops!  KICK ASS movie.  That’s what I meant.  Poor Kim.  She didn’t really have any ass to kiss in the movie, and nor did she feel good inside like Madonna said in Like a Virgin.

Not every watermelon is created equally.  You never go wrong with this guy’s.

Thanks, Laura.

Two days in a row, Seattle hit 95 degrees.  All morgues and funeral homes are now packed full in Seattle & the great Seattle area.  So if you happened to drive through Seattle and smelled something funny, it wasn’t salmon or king crab you were smelling.  Thank you.

What happens when you send out a message that tells all your friends about your imminent dreadful root canal procedure?  After you hit the “send” button and realize that the message reads like this:

“Dear Friends,

Blah blah blah…  More blah blah blah…

I am having a root anal next week!!!”

And this year, I don’t want any DVDs, CDs, or any Ds.