I just realized that I had eye crust, and I was talking to the guy who was installing the kitchen sink.

How humiliating!

He must have thought I am a dirty person.



I have a question:

Why is it that guys are always telling their girls how to use the work-out machines and telling them to push harder?  They are the ones with the huge beer guts while their significant others are skinny to the bone.  Should it be the other way around?  The girls should be yelling at the guys and eating bon-bons.



Mom:  I got really sick the other day.  I thought it was the heat.  It was 90 some degrees.

Me:  Why didn’t you turn the AC on?

Mom:  It wasted money.  I had the fans on though.  Anyway, I got really sick and my head just kept spinning around.  No one was home and could get me drugs from the pharmacy.  I lay in bed in agony for hours.  Finally, someone got home and got some medicine for me.  I threw up, too.

Me:  Oh my…  If you had turned on the AC, none of these would have happened.

Mom:  No.  It wasted money.




Captain Peacock was trying to get Mrs. Slocombe’s attention by wiggling a finger at her.

Mrs. Slocombe:  I do not respond to any man’s finger.



I shall live normal again because of this much needed announcement, Starbucks bringing back cake slices.



Me:  Someone just described me perfectly.

Woman #1:  Do tell.

Me:  Quiet, shy and introverted.

Woman #1:  Hmm…

Me:  How rude.  Besides, I have irresistible charm, good looks, and only have to wear Depend at night.



I have a request:

Just because you are an airline elite member, you don’t need to make a face that screams, “I am an elite.  I am more important than you are.  Do you know who I am?”

If you are really that elite and that important, you should have flown in your own private jet and not had to fly with us peons.



It’s cute when it’s a baby in the picture, right?  What if I change it to an old man…





Everything and anything just irritates the hell out of me.  This must be the Monday syndrome.  I need more than a drink.



It is interesting that the incident, Cathay Pacific jet stranded for 16 hours in China, happened on March 30th, 2014, but we just learned about it today.  Shall we say it’s a big cover up?

Needlessly to say, those poor people were confined in a plane for 16+ hours on top of the 12+ hours they had already traveled from New York.  I wondered what that plane smelled like.

I like this guy’s comment on the incident.

Who are these moron’s that continue to keep people in inhumane conditions.
It’s always one idiot somewhere who makes these bad decisions that impacts so many people.
2014 and we still are in the stone age. The should be charged criminally.