Me:  I would like to close my account because I no longer needed the service.

Her:  Yes.  I can do that.  May I AXE you why you want to close the account?

Me:  Didn’t I just tell you that?

Her:  Told me Wah?

Me:  That I no longer needed the service.

Her:  Hahahaha… That’s right.  I apologize for that.

Me:  That’s all right.

Her:  Soooo, you want to close the account?

Me:  ……………….

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH…

I thought taking a shower was supposed to be enjoyable and relaxing.  Why would someone put this thing in the shower and even call it, “A NECESSITY FOR YOUR SHOWER?”  Just the image of the slimy thing coming out of the nostril and then rubbing it on your body is grotesque…  OMG!!!  My dinner is working its way up as we speak…

Simply push on the right nostril and your soap of choice can ooze right out!  The kids will love it, your hubby will find it hilarious… Allegedly from the merchant’s website.

Yes.  I will tell you where you can get it should you find it A NECESSITY FOR YOUR SHOWER!

So the debate goes on, should your baby son pee sitting down or standing up?

Does it matter?  I thought boys will eventually figure it out one day.  Didn’t we?

Some of the comments in this fantastic post about your little boys’ peeing styles and preferences were absolutely the best.

I strongly advocate teaching boys to pee sitting down. I pee seated most of the time myself: it’s relaxing…  The penis is seductive enough to a young boy.  I promise you that they’ll figure out how it works and discover the pleasure they can derive from it without giving them an open excuse to fondle it five times a day.

My son (9) also learned to pee sitting down. Then he was into standing up, until one time he was peeing standing and accidentally pooped his pants! (He was about 5).  He would DIE if he knew I was writing about this!

My husband is a cross dresser.  He ALWAYS pees sitting down.

Originally appeared on shine.yahoo.com

OMG!!!  How could I ever resist not to use the last comment as the title of my post?

Then, the question came about aiming.  Little boys don’t aim.  You are lucky if they don’t get their pants, legs, feet, mouths, faces, hair, or any other body parts wet.  However, the Dutch have solved this problem.  They found out that not just little boys have problem with the aim.  Adults have the same problem as well.  Imagine that!!!  So they put a fly in the urinal to help boys and girls and men focus while they go on with their business.  CLEVAH, ISN’T IT?

Originally appeared on lh5.ggpht.com

I MUST share this with you all.  It is MY DUTY!!!  Matt had coffee coming out his nose while he was reading it.  I had to change pants because of the little accident I had.  Trust me.  Don’t eat or drink anything during.

Transcript Of Palin - Couric Interview on Salon.com

Mom:  What should I say to my boss that I want to quit?

Me:  Just tell her that you don’t want to work any more.  Say, “I am 70 years old.  I AM ANCIENT.”

Mom:  I want a FANCY excuse that sounds good.  I don’t want to burn the bridge, you know.

Me:  What bridge?  You work there one day a week because you want to get out of the house.  What do you care?

Mom:  Just help me come up with something nice to say.

Me:  How about this?  “My son promised me that he will now give me TWENTY bucks a month, so I don’t have to work here.  Thank you.”

Mom:  Hahahahaha…  Be serious.

Me:  Just tell her that you want to quit.  You know, they must have been thinking how cruel and evil your son is to leave his poor mother working at McDonald’s at her old age.

Mom:  Now you mentioned it, that huge monthly TWENTY bucks allowance does sound like a FANCY excuse.  I think I’ll use it.

Me:  How rude!!!