“Do you have a sec?”

“Sure.  I have lots of secs.  …  …  Hmm… That doesn’t sound right, does it?  Lots of secs?  Lots of sex?”

Although my birthday is about a month away yet, but it’s never too early to start working on my wish list.

Looks like we have a winner here.  Chest hair wig.  And lots of it.

The manufacturer guaranteed that “You’ll make a regular sex symbol with the help of this impressive chest wig.”

Ladies and Gents.  A regular SEX SYMBOL?!?!  Even Brad Pitt will be jealous to death.  How can I not have it!!!

Secretly sold on  Silly Jokes

I am totally addicted to Kellogg’s Fiber Plus Antioxidants Dark Chocolate Almond chewy bars.  I have bazillion boxes of them in my drawer at work.  Not only each bar has 35% of the daily fiber, but also each bar has just 140 calories.  And I LOVE dark chocolate.

I overdosed today and had 5 of them.  That’s like 175% of the daily fiber and the extra antioxidants I have consumed.  I came home after work and had an explosive diarrhea.  At least, I know I am clean inside now.  Very clean.

Super Programmer Dude:  My TA in college couldn’t pronounce L.  He pronounced L as N.  The class we were in was about the computer language C++.  Once, the professor was on vacation, so the TA was teaching the class for a week.  Whenever he said C++, he pronounced, “Se Penas Penas.”

Me:  See Penis Penis?  Hahahahahaha…

The conversation started with a typical work related problem as why nothing could ever go smoothly in the office.  So I sarcastically suggested that we should just forget about the problem and go get a drink.  Dr. Mom replied back that she could not go.  She would be home eating M&Ms with a 3 year old, and trying to get him to go potty!

You know I am obsessed with potties, toilets and poop.  Many posts of mine are on this subject.  So I found this great potty online and suggested it to Dr. Mom that she should get one.

It’s not just an ordinary boring old potty.  This potty is a slot machine too.  It congratulates the kid when “mission is accomplished” and plays the jackpot noises.  Now I wondered why they couldn’t make the adult toilets do the same for us.

Then Dr. Mom told me that she found this great thing for little boys to aim at when standing up at the potty.

It reminds me of my trip to the Netherlands.  A tinkle target?  That’s exactly what they did in Holland.  They found out that men just pee anywhere without looking.  So they etched a fly into the porcelain in the men’s urinal.  They found out that the fly helped men focus and aim.  Men would actually aim at the fly and thus, were less messy and much easier for Gerda and Sofie to clean them.

The only problem for me was that I was not tall enough to use the urinals in Holland.  I think Holland has the tallest average height in the world.  It’s 5′9″ here in the U.S. for men, but it’s like 6 feet and then some in Holland.  And that’s their average.  Can you imagine I felt like walking in the woods at all times when I was there?  Anyway, because they are tall, their urinals are placed higher.  Some of them were at my chest even.  And they didn’t have any handy dandy little stools to step on near by for short people like me.  I couldn’t position myself at all.  So I always had to use the toilets instead.  How rude!