Dear Matt,

I am extremely not pleased when you decided to sleep on my bed.  This is rude.  Thanks to you for your million dollar idea.  You put that disgusting old mat on top of the stinky litter box and called it my bed.  How can I possibly sleep there?  The smell will suffocate me since you only clean it once a year.  Had I not been able to hold my breath for a long time every time I used it, I would have been dead by now.   I got a better idea.  Why don’t you sleep right next to my litter box tonight?  And get your ass out of my bed this instant. 

Yours,

Her Royal Highness Miss Meow Meow

Miss Meow Meow’s luxurious bed

The intruder

 Miss Meow Meow’s new bed?