Dear Carl,

I am not a lady of thousand faces, nor am I working for the FBI or CIA under some ridiculous code names.  Stop calling me different names every day.  You always get all irritated because I don’t answer you when you call.  Here’s why.  So far, you have called me, in order of frequency of use,

1. Miss Meow Meow
2. Kitty
3. Hello Kitty
4. Kiddy
5. Miss Bing Bing
6. Bang Bang 
7. Doo Doo
8. Damn Cat

Especially, Hello Kitty.  I do not, at all, look like that cat with a bow stuck on its forehead and has no mouth. 

It’s annoying.  Stop it.  You twit.

Yours,

Her Royal Highness Miss Meow Meow