Matt always tells Callie how good she is and what a smart dog she is.  Not that I am jealous or anything, I just want to find out her real IQ.  I decided to test the allegedly smart dog.

6 PM

I was in the kitchen trying to figure out what to eat for dinner.  I stood in front of the pantry for 5 minutes and found nothing I liked.   But I did see one thing I wanted - Breathbuster, Callie’s favorite.  And no!  I wasn’t going to eat it.  I was going to use it to test the intelligence of the dog.  So I called,

“Sabrina!  Sabrina!  A bisquiiiiiiit.  Sabrinaaaaaa!”

Callie ran downstairs, rushed to the kitchen and waited.

“Your name is not Sabrina, you silly goose.”  I gave her the treat anyway.

7:30 PM

I was in the kitchen again and dying due to severe hunger.  I grabbed a can of the Campbell’s Select Chicken Noodle Soup and put it in the microwave.  The 3-minute wait seemed like a lifetime and I was fading away and absolutely bored.  I got a chew stick out of the pantry and called,

“Meow Meow!!!  Meow Meow!!!  Keeeetie Keeeeetie Meow Meow!!!”

The cat was nowhere to be seen.  Shockingly, the dog showed up.  She sat there and looked up at me.

“Your name is not Meow Meow or Keeeetie.  You silly goose.”  I gave her the chew stick anyway.

8:30 PM

I needed something sweet after having the salty soup.  I got my favorite Yoplait fat free Boston cream pie flavored yogurt out of the refrigerator and a thin thin slice of chicken lunch-meat.

“Paris!  Paris!  Chickeeeeen!!!”

Callie showed up again.  She knew something was up.

“Lorrrrrd.  Your name is not Paris.  You are CALLIE.”  I gave her the chicken.

Apparently, our dog is very smart.  Her IQ must be over 200.  She can care less about what her name is or what you call her.  She knows exactly what to do to get exactly what she wants.