We were watching the Devil Wears Prada after dinner.  The cat was meowing hysterically and dying for attention.  The dog was barking fiercely due to irrepressible jealousy.  I called the cat and let her know that she could jump up and sit in my lap so I could pat her.  The idiotic thing absolutely refused to jump up because I did not sit and position myself the way she liked it.

Me:  “Kill her.  Kill her now.  Dog!  Bite the cat.”

On the TV screen, Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) was delivering the ultimate zinger.

Miranda:  “Is there some reason that my coffee isn’t here? Has she died or something?”

I turned to Matt after laughing uncontrollably.

Me:  “When can I be like her?”

Matt:  “You ARE her already!!!”

Am I obsessed with the Fra-Gee-Lee Italian leg lamp?  If the lamp plus the high heel and fishnet table are not enough, there are also t-shirts available. 

 @ Amazon

Just in time for Christmas.

How can one have the leg shape lamp proudly displayed at the living room window without the table to match?

If that’s not enough, have a sumo wrestler “hold” the drinks for you.

I was on the phone with my eight-year-old nephew, Andy.

Andy:  “I told my teacher that all my family graduated from this school.”

Me:  “Except your grandma.”

Andy:  “And, and I told her that my grandpa graduated with top honors, and so did my uncle Carl.  And I told her that I was very proud.”

Me:  “Really.  Wow!  Thank you.”

Andy:  “Except my mummy.  She is the stupidest.  How embarrassing.”

I was controlling myself not to laugh…

Me:  “You told your teacher that?”

Andy:  “Of course!!!”

“Can you help start wrapping the presents for tomorrow?” … Dead silence… “How many gifts do we have?  I need eleven.  Did you go shopping today?” … Dead silence…  “Are you there?” … 

“TALK TO ME WHEN YOU GET HOME…  I’M RESTING.”