You definitely don’t want to miss Michael Jackson & His Very Own Chocolate Factory this time.

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Originally appeared on OMG Yahoo!

The price she would pay to look young at the age of 45.  At this rate, I think she’ll have to bathe in a jacuzzi tub full of leeches when she hits 46. 

Thanks to Laura who has been a proud horse owner for some time for sharing her experience in raising a horse with me.

I just learned from her that horses, like human, had to pay for sex as well.  In order for Laura to breed her horse, Lady Bird, she has to find a stud and pay for the exuberant fees.  After reviewing thousands of qualified studs’ profiles, she found one and they were asking for $1000 for the stud fee plus $250 for the booking fee.

Me:  And the name of the horse is Lightning Rod XX?

Laura:  Yes.

Me:  XX?

Laura:  That just means he’s a thoroughbred.

Me:  Oh, I thought it was something sexual. Like XXX on a DVD cover, you know.

Laura:  Get your mind out of the gutter.

What is this $250 booking fee anyway?  Is that some kind of commission for the pimp?  In our civilized human world, a pimp receives the commission by hooking up the potential consumer with the staff, and is also responsible for delivering and picking up the staff.  Is this the same thing?

If I found out my mother ever paid someone $1000 so that I could get laid, I would just die.  Poor little innocent Lady Bird.  She should just become a nun.  I think she’ll look cute in a little horse nun’s outfit.

Mr. X:  “Did you hear that?  That laugh.  The joke was not even funny.  He laughed because his boss said it.”

Me:  “He is such a suck up.  I am sure by now, he is having terrible BUTT BREATH after all the ass kissing.”