This so reminds me of the old post,  What Should I Do When the Computer Is Down at Work?, the learn Chinese in 5 minutes part.

Originally appeared on funnyhub.com

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Originally appeared on nerdnirvana.org

Q:  How was your weekend?

Me:  Good, if the part where I dramatically fainted TWICE in public and humiliated myself was taken out.

Q:  OMG!  What happened?

Me:  Well, Saturday night, Matt and I went out to a bar.  After a couple of drinks, Blue Hawaiian and Southern Punch to be exact, Matt was hungry.  We ordered some chicken strips and were standing at a table waiting in agony because the order took forever.  Finally, the chicken strips arrived.  I only had two bites and did not even finish the first strip when I just dropped on the floor.

Q:  OMG!!!

Me:  Indeed.  It was probably just for a few seconds and I was conscious again.  Immediately, there were thousands of questions being thrown at me.  I remembered saying something and then I was out again. 

Q:  Did they take you to the emergency room?

Me:  No.  When I regained consciousness, I was sitting in an office, soaking in my own cold sweat.  I was told that 3 people lifted me up in the air above everyone else and carried me to the office like Cleopatra.  The paramedics soon arrived and took my blood pressure.  They asked me if I remembered anything.

Q:  Did you?

Me:  Not much.  But when I passed out the second time, I remembered I was very upset at someone with a very bad haircut, who insisted that he should be on American Idol.  Simon kept yelling at him, NOOOOOOOO, because his inexcusably horrendous haircut made Paula Abdul vomit in his lap thrice.  That was really strange because I don’t watch American Idol.

Q:  Hahahahahaha… 

Me:  Matt was very upset.  He thought I died.

Q:  Sigh, even when you “die,” you are still very high maintenance.

Originally appeared on faraiq.com

Originally appeared on avolites.org.uk