Me: Mommy, Mommy! I love you more than sunshine.
Mom: I love you more than cupcakes, my dear.
Me: Aaawww… There is this $150K BMW I really like, but I can’t really afford it. It’s my company’s fault. They don’t pay me enough.
Mom: Good riddance! They work you to the bones, my honey bun.
Me: I know… So I have been thinking if you could loan me the money. I’ll pay you back, of course.
Mom: Stop that nonsense this instant! My poor child. (Opening her purse…) Here is $150K + $25. Now, you go buy the car you like and get yourself some snacks afterwards. You know, buying a car can be extremely exhausting and tormenting.
Me: Thanks, Mom. I love you more than chocolate ice cream.
Mom: I love you more than Rusty Joiner. Well, maybe not.

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