Me: As a designer, I really like to play with animal furs. I want something stunning for my cat and it truly represents who I am as a designer. Heidi: Where are her boobs? She looks like my 89-year-old grandma from Berlin. Try my newest Victoria’s Secret push-up bra and instantly adds two-cup sizes on [...]
Feb
1
Dec
20
Miss Meow Meow Has a New Cleaning Crew
Category: Cat | Leave a Comment
Miss Meow Meow pooped on the carpet again, a foot away from the litter box. That’s not something I wanted to see first thing in the morning after I woke up. Walking past the disaster area, I was still half awake, but the smell immediately woke me up. I almost fainted and rolled down the [...]
Apr
8
Callie, the dog: How come you kept putting that damn cat on your blog, but not me? Me: Shush! Silly goose. You shouldn’t speak of Her Royal Highness like that. Besides, we are just unworthy peasants. I’ll try to sneak you in tonight and do a story for you on my blog. Miss Meow Meow [...]
Apr
5
Miss Meow Meow’s gentleman friend: “I really don’t like to be disturbed when I am watching Real Housewives from New York. Well, if you can excuse me, don’t look! I am going to scratch you-know-where. Oh, by the way, Carl, I have a message for you from my darling, Her Royal Highness…” Dear Carl Unworthy [...]
Apr
2
Dear Carl Peasants, Did you know I almost died today? “Why?” you asked. I was using my royal bathroom and I had to hold my breath for 5 minutes. That’s why. First, what did you put in my food to cause my pooping difficulty? Second, clean the royal bathroom. I almost died in there because [...]