Here it is!!!  2010 brand new naked firemen calendar.  Available only on doocci.

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “Ahhhhh…  Mmm…  My feet feel so good in this.  What is this again?”

Tea Drinker:  “Raspberry, peppermint and a hint of ginseng concussion.”

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “You can put me in this any time.  It does wonders to my toes.  They are all tingling.”

Tea Drinker:  “Certainly.  I was told it was good for my health and whitened my teeth.  The hotter, the better.”

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “I can’t agree with you more.  But can you help me get out of this?  I don’t want to get my toes all pruney.”

@ donkey-products

Won’t the keys break really fast after endless rolling and twisting?  Or am I just being too suspicious and not trusting the modern technology enough?  I wonder how long the warranty is.

Get the Flash Player to see this player.

@ I Want One of Those

If you are afraid to gain weight, I strongly urge you not to read on because the items I am about to feature today are just too tempting and luring.

TA-DA!

These are Breadou delicious, feel good, smell good… STRESS RELIEVER.  Bummer!  They are not edible at all.  And worst of all, they all smell like REAL FRESHLY BAKED BREAD!!!  How can they possibly release my stress while they smell so good and cannot be eaten?  If I have even just one of them on my desk, I will be all wired up and cannot concentrate on work because I’m so dying to get to the closest bakery and eat a whole damn Double Dark Chocolate Molten Lava Cake. 

Theoretically, the people at Breadou said that we should use the buns or donuts as illustrated below.  Why?  I actually want to get a bunch of the bread sticks so I hit those dumb asses at work whenever they deserve a good beating.

We were watching the Devil Wears Prada after dinner.  The cat was meowing hysterically and dying for attention.  The dog was barking fiercely due to irrepressible jealousy.  I called the cat and let her know that she could jump up and sit in my lap so I could pat her.  The idiotic thing absolutely refused to jump up because I did not sit and position myself the way she liked it.

Me:  “Kill her.  Kill her now.  Dog!  Bite the cat.”

On the TV screen, Miranda Priestly (Meryl Streep) was delivering the ultimate zinger.

Miranda:  “Is there some reason that my coffee isn’t here? Has she died or something?”

I turned to Matt after laughing uncontrollably.

Me:  “When can I be like her?”

Matt:  “You ARE her already!!!”