Mom:  What should I say to my boss that I want to quit? Me:  Just tell her that you don’t want to work any more.  Say, “I am 70 years old.  I AM ANCIENT.” Mom:  I want a FANCY excuse that sounds good.  I don’t want to burn the bridge, you know. Me:  What bridge?  You [...]

Me:  HeRRo.  Mom?  This is your son. Mother:  Hello?  Hellooo?  Who is this?  Why are you not speaking? Me:  HeRRo?  It’s your son. Mother:  Hi, how are you?  What happened?  Why didn’t you say anything? Me:  I did.  It had to be the internet connection.  I am testing this thing called, Skype.  For ten bucks a month, [...]

My poor mother will be in Cosco in no time to look for the same bra.  And she will test it out to see if she can produce the same effect. Originally appeared on funnyjunk.com

Apparently, my poor mother was very annoyed by the recurring episodes of “Forest HUMP” performed by my cousin and his girlfriend in his room. Me:  Why don’t they go to a motel or somewhere else? Mother:  They don’t have money.  They can’t afford it. Me:  Well, at least, no one was home when they were [...]

I certainly can not let my mother miss this.   She is always out there looking for the next best bra.  By the way, Mother, they don’t sell these at Cosco or Carrefour.  Try BABELAND instead.  One comment in particular is absolutely the best. I immediately thought of my mother-in-law in this.  She is 93…hahaha Originally [...]