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var s0 = new SWFObject(”http://doocci.com/wp-content/plugins/flash-video-player/flvplayer.swf”,”n0″,”450″,”320″,”7″);
s0.addParam(”allowfullscreen”,”true”);
s0.addParam(”allowscriptaccess”,”always”);
s0.addVariable(”javascriptid”,”n0″);
s0.addVariable(”width”,”450″);
s0.addVariable(”height”,”320″);
s0.addVariable(”image”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/elmo.jpg”);
s0.addVariable(”backcolor”,”0xFFFFFF”);
s0.addVariable(”frontcolor”,”0×000000″);
s0.addVariable(”lightcolor”,”0×000000″);
s0.addVariable(”screencolor”,”0×000000″);
s0.addVariable(”autoscroll”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”largecontrols”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”logo”,”http://doocci.com”);
s0.addVariable(”overstretch”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”showdigits”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”showdownload”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”showeq”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”showicons”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”showvolume”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”thumbsinplaylist”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”autostart”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”bufferlength”,”3″);
s0.addVariable(”repeat”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”rotatetime”,”5″);
s0.addVariable(”smoothing”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”volume”,”80″);
s0.addVariable(”enablejs”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”linkfromdisplay”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”t”,”autodetect”);
s0.addVariable(”useaudio”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”usecaptions”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”usefullscreen”,”true”);
s0.addVariable(”usekeys”,”false”);
s0.addVariable(”file”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/Elmo.flv”);
s0.write(”video0″);

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var s1 = new SWFObject(”http://doocci.com/wp-content/plugins/flash-video-player/flvplayer.swf”,”n1″,”450″,”320″,”7″);
s1.addParam(”allowfullscreen”,”true”);
s1.addParam(”allowscriptaccess”,”always”);
s1.addVariable(”javascriptid”,”n1″);
s1.addVariable(”width”,”450″);
s1.addVariable(”height”,”320″);
s1.addVariable(”image”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/car-music.jpg”);
s1.addVariable(”backcolor”,”0xFFFFFF”);
s1.addVariable(”frontcolor”,”0×000000″);
s1.addVariable(”lightcolor”,”0×000000″);
s1.addVariable(”screencolor”,”0×000000″);
s1.addVariable(”autoscroll”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”largecontrols”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”logo”,”http://doocci.com”);
s1.addVariable(”overstretch”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”showdigits”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”showdownload”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”showeq”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”showicons”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”showvolume”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”thumbsinplaylist”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”autostart”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”bufferlength”,”3″);
s1.addVariable(”repeat”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”rotatetime”,”5″);
s1.addVariable(”smoothing”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”volume”,”80″);
s1.addVariable(”enablejs”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”linkfromdisplay”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”t”,”autodetect”);
s1.addVariable(”useaudio”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”usecaptions”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”usefullscreen”,”true”);
s1.addVariable(”usekeys”,”false”);
s1.addVariable(”file”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/car-music.flv”);
s1.write(”video1″);

Originally appeared on wimp.com

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var s2 = new SWFObject(”http://doocci.com/wp-content/plugins/flash-video-player/flvplayer.swf”,”n2″,”450″,”320″,”7″);
s2.addParam(”allowfullscreen”,”true”);
s2.addParam(”allowscriptaccess”,”always”);
s2.addVariable(”javascriptid”,”n2″);
s2.addVariable(”width”,”450″);
s2.addVariable(”height”,”320″);
s2.addVariable(”image”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/dumbass.jpg”);
s2.addVariable(”backcolor”,”0xFFFFFF”);
s2.addVariable(”frontcolor”,”0×000000″);
s2.addVariable(”lightcolor”,”0×000000″);
s2.addVariable(”screencolor”,”0×000000″);
s2.addVariable(”autoscroll”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”largecontrols”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”logo”,”http://doocci.com”);
s2.addVariable(”overstretch”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”showdigits”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”showdownload”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”showeq”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”showicons”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”showvolume”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”thumbsinplaylist”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”autostart”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”bufferlength”,”3″);
s2.addVariable(”repeat”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”rotatetime”,”5″);
s2.addVariable(”smoothing”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”volume”,”80″);
s2.addVariable(”enablejs”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”linkfromdisplay”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”t”,”autodetect”);
s2.addVariable(”useaudio”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”usecaptions”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”usefullscreen”,”true”);
s2.addVariable(”usekeys”,”false”);
s2.addVariable(”file”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/dumbass.flv”);
s2.write(”video2″);

One night, when Matt and I visited Bangkok last year, the taxi driver we hired insisted on taking us to see a ping pong show.
Cab Driver:  Have you guys seen the ping pong cho?
Matt & I:  Ping pong what?
Cab Driver:  Ping pong cho, you know.  Ladies shoot the ping pong balls from (you know where).
Matt:  Oh, ping pong show.  […]

Thanks, Laura.
And I thought there is nothing worse than THAT DRESS!

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var s4 = new SWFObject(”http://doocci.com/wp-content/plugins/flash-video-player/flvplayer.swf”,”n4″,”450″,”320″,”7″);
s4.addParam(”allowfullscreen”,”true”);
s4.addParam(”allowscriptaccess”,”always”);
s4.addVariable(”javascriptid”,”n4″);
s4.addVariable(”width”,”450″);
s4.addVariable(”height”,”320″);
s4.addVariable(”image”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/aftermath-obama.jpg”);
s4.addVariable(”backcolor”,”0xFFFFFF”);
s4.addVariable(”frontcolor”,”0×000000″);
s4.addVariable(”lightcolor”,”0×000000″);
s4.addVariable(”screencolor”,”0×000000″);
s4.addVariable(”autoscroll”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”largecontrols”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”logo”,”http://doocci.com”);
s4.addVariable(”overstretch”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”showdigits”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”showdownload”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”showeq”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”showicons”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”showvolume”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”thumbsinplaylist”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”autostart”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”bufferlength”,”3″);
s4.addVariable(”repeat”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”rotatetime”,”5″);
s4.addVariable(”smoothing”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”volume”,”80″);
s4.addVariable(”enablejs”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”linkfromdisplay”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”t”,”autodetect”);
s4.addVariable(”useaudio”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”usecaptions”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”usefullscreen”,”true”);
s4.addVariable(”usekeys”,”false”);
s4.addVariable(”file”,”http://doocci.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/11/aftermath-obama.flv”);
s4.write(”video4″);

Originally appeared on salon.com