Lady Gaga:  No.  I am not a hermaphrodite.

Ping:  What?  But I am a drapery leader.  Let me drape things on you.

Lady Gaga:  No, thank you.  I like to wear tight stuff.

Ping:  But I can drape.  I am the best.  Let me drape.  I can make you pretty.

Lady Gaga:  What are you saying?  I am ugly?

Ping:  No, no, no…  I just want to drape.

Lady Gaga:   Go drape it on my assistant, Bill.

Ping:  But he is a man.

Lady Gaga:  So am I.

Last night, Matt asked what my new year resolutions were.  I didn’t have any.

Well, that’s all changed now.  After watching the video, my new year’s resolutions are:

1. Become a Blond.
2. Learn a southern accent.
3. Only listen to myself and the voices

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Well, my GIRLS will teach you how to pay for expensive stuff with a rotten credit score.

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Who cares about a $@$@$#@ map!!!

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Won’t the keys break really fast after endless rolling and twisting?  Or am I just being too suspicious and not trusting the modern technology enough?  I wonder how long the warranty is.

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@ I Want One of Those