Here it is!!!  2010 brand new naked firemen calendar.  Available only on doocci.

Me:  As a designer, I really like to play with animal furs.  I want something stunning for my cat and it truly represents who I am as a designer.

Heidi:  Where are her boobs?  She looks like my 89-year-old grandma from Berlin.  Try my newest Victoria’s Secret push-up bra and instantly adds two-cup sizes on her.  Goodbye, flat beaches!  Hello, Bombshell!!!

Michael Kors:  WTF is this?  Did you just put a wig on a rat?

Nina Garcia:  Can you turn her around so I can see what she looks like from behind?  Oh, Buddha & Jesus’ mother.  That ass is just hideous.  I have never seen any ass uglier than this.

Heidi:  Carl!  We really wondered about your taste level.  In fact, we don’t think you have any taste.  You are OUT!  Auf wiedersehen!

Lady Gaga:  No.  I am not a hermaphrodite.

Ping:  What?  But I am a drapery leader.  Let me drape things on you.

Lady Gaga:  No, thank you.  I like to wear tight stuff.

Ping:  But I can drape.  I am the best.  Let me drape.  I can make you pretty.

Lady Gaga:  What are you saying?  I am ugly?

Ping:  No, no, no…  I just want to drape.

Lady Gaga:   Go drape it on my assistant, Bill.

Ping:  But he is a man.

Lady Gaga:  So am I.

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “Ahhhhh…  Mmm…  My feet feel so good in this.  What is this again?”

Tea Drinker:  “Raspberry, peppermint and a hint of ginseng concussion.”

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “You can put me in this any time.  It does wonders to my toes.  They are all tingling.”

Tea Drinker:  “Certainly.  I was told it was good for my health and whitened my teeth.  The hotter, the better.”

The Naked Man Tea Bag:  “I can’t agree with you more.  But can you help me get out of this?  I don’t want to get my toes all pruney.”

@ donkey-products